You Don’t Have to Face Self-Harm Alone

Self-harm can be difficult to talk about, and many people hide it from friends, family members, teachers, coworkers, or healthcare providers. Although it may feel isolating, self-harm is something many people experience, particularly during adolescence and young adulthood.

Self-harm should always be taken seriously. It can be a sign that someone is experiencing emotional pain, stress, trauma, numbness, or other feelings that have become difficult to manage.

With compassionate support, professional care, and healthier coping strategies, recovery is possible.

What Is Self-Harm?

Self-harm, sometimes called self-injury, refers to intentionally causing injury to your own body.

Self-harm can take different forms. The behavior is often used as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, emotional numbness, stress, anger, grief, trauma, or feelings that a person does not know how to express.

Self-harm is not simply “attention-seeking,” and it should never be dismissed.

For some people, self-injury may temporarily create a feeling of relief. However, that relief usually does not last. Difficult emotions may return, sometimes followed by guilt, fear, embarrassment, or shame.

Over time, this can create a cycle in which emotional distress leads to self-harm, followed by temporary relief and then additional emotional distress.

Why Might Someone Self-Harm?

There is no single reason why someone may engage in self-harm.

People may use self-injury as a way to:

• Cope with intense emotional pain
• Express feelings they have difficulty putting into words
• Feel something when experiencing emotional numbness
• Respond to stress, trauma, rejection, grief, or conflict
• Release anger or frustration
• Regain a sense of control
• Distract themselves from difficult thoughts or memories

Self-harm can occur alongside mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, trauma-related conditions, eating disorders, substance use concerns, or difficulties managing intense emotions.

However, self-harm itself is a behavior rather than a diagnosis.

Understanding what is happening underneath the behavior is an important part of finding effective support.

Self-Harm and Suicide Are Not the Same Thing

Self-harm does not automatically mean that a person is attempting suicide.

Many people who self-harm are trying to cope with emotional pain rather than trying to end their life.

However, self-harm is still serious. People who engage in self-injury may have a greater risk of experiencing suicidal thoughts or behaviors.

For that reason, expressions of hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, or statements about wanting to die should always be taken seriously.

If There Is Immediate Danger

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or may seriously harm themselves:

Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

988 is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

If there is an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.

Signs Someone May Be Struggling

Self-harm can be difficult to recognize because many people intentionally hide injuries.

Possible warning signs may include:

• Unexplained cuts, burns, bruises, or other injuries
• Frequent bandages or wound-care supplies
• Wearing clothing that covers the arms or legs even during warm weather
• Avoiding situations where injuries might be seen
• Increasing isolation from friends or family
• Statements of hopelessness or worthlessness
• Significant changes in mood
• Difficulty managing anger or emotional distress
• Increased substance use
• Withdrawal from activities that were previously important
• Difficulty talking about emotions

One sign alone does not necessarily mean someone is self-harming. However, noticeable changes in behavior or emotional wellbeing can be a reason to check in.

How to Talk to Someone You Are Concerned About

If you believe someone may be hurting themselves, approaching them with compassion can make a meaningful difference.

You do not need to have all the answers.

You can begin by saying that you have noticed they seem to be having a difficult time and that you care about them.

Try to:

• Listen without judging
• Take their feelings seriously
• Remain calm
• Avoid criticizing or shaming them
• Ask how you can support them
• Encourage professional help
• Help them connect with a counselor, therapist, doctor, trusted adult, or other support person

Avoid demanding that someone simply “stop.”

Self-harm can become a deeply established coping behavior. Recovery often involves learning different ways to understand, express, and regulate difficult emotions.

Getting Help for Self-Harm

Talking about self-harm can feel uncomfortable, but reaching out is an important first step.

Someone experiencing urges to self-harm may consider speaking with:

• A primary care provider
• Mental health counselor or therapist
• Psychiatrist
• School counselor
• Trusted family member
• Trusted friend
• Peer support specialist
• Community mental health provider

A mental health professional can help identify what may be contributing to the behavior and work with the individual to develop healthier coping strategies.

Treatment is personalized to each person.

Therapy and Recovery

Several evidence-based approaches may be used to help people who struggle with self-harm.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, commonly called CBT, can help people recognize connections between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

Individuals can learn new ways to respond when difficult thoughts or emotions arise.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, focuses on skills such as:

• Managing intense emotions
• Tolerating distress
• Mindfulness
• Improving relationships
• Developing healthier coping strategies

DBT is commonly used when someone has difficulty managing intense emotional responses or repetitive self-harming behaviors.

Trauma-Informed Therapy

For individuals whose self-harm is connected to traumatic experiences, trauma-informed therapy may help them process those experiences in a supportive and safe environment.

Treatment may also address other mental health or substance use concerns that are contributing to emotional distress.

Medication may sometimes be prescribed for an underlying mental health condition, but medication is not typically used specifically to treat self-harm itself.

Building Healthier Ways to Cope

Recovery is not simply about stopping a behavior. It is also about developing safer ways to manage what is happening emotionally.

A counselor or other mental health professional can help someone develop an individualized coping and safety plan.

Helpful strategies may include:

• Talking with someone you trust
• Writing or journaling
• Physical activity
• Mindfulness or breathing exercises
• Spending time in a supportive environment
• Creating art or music
• Identifying emotional triggers
• Developing a personal safety plan
• Connecting with peer support
• Learning emotional regulation skills

Different strategies work for different people.

The goal is to find coping tools that provide relief without causing injury.

Supporting Someone Without Judgment

People experiencing self-harm may already feel ashamed or afraid of how others will respond.

A compassionate response can help reduce that isolation.

You do not have to fully understand someone’s experience to support them.

Sometimes one of the most meaningful things you can communicate is:

“You don’t have to deal with this alone. I’m here, and we can find help together.”

You Deserve Support

Self-harm can feel private, overwhelming, and difficult to discuss, but support is available.

Reaching out to someone you trust, connecting with a mental health professional, or asking for help may be the beginning of finding safer ways to cope.

Recovery can take time, but people can learn new strategies, build support systems, and move toward healthier ways of managing emotional pain.