Smile Through the Storms: Remembering Loved Ones, Supporting Families, and Ending Stigma
When someone loses a loved one to suicide, knowing what to say—or where to turn—can feel difficult. Friends may want to help but struggle to find the words. Families may want to speak about the person they love, yet worry that others will become uncomfortable.
There should be room for those conversations. Room to say someone’s name, share a memory, cry, or simply be heard.
That is the purpose behind Smile Through the Storms, an Elmira-based support group founded by Deb Maxwell for people who have lost a loved one to suicide. The group brings people together for understanding, remembrance, and connection through shared experience.
At StrongSteps Behavioral Health Foundation, we are grateful to have a close relationship with Deb and Smile Through the Storms. Deb previously served on our board, and we continue to work closely together. We want our community to know more about her work and the support available to families.
The Story Behind Smile Through the Storms
Deb founded Smile Through the Storms after her son, David “Bubbie” Shugart, died by suicide on March 5, 2014. On the organization’s website, she shares why she wanted families and loved ones to have a place to express their feelings and know that they were not alone.
According to a profile from Corning Community College, Deb attended local grief support meetings but wanted to connect with people who understood the particular experience of suicide loss. Drawing on her human services education and her own experience, she held the first Smile Through the Storms group meeting in December 2014.
This beginning matters. Behind the organization’s name is a mother, a son she loves, and a decision to make space for other families.
Her work is a reminder that people living with grief also have much to offer one another: patience, understanding, and a willingness to listen when words are hard to find.
A Place to Share, Grieve, and Remember
Smile Through the Storms describes its gatherings as opportunities to introduce and remember loved ones, share feelings, offer comfort, grieve, and sometimes smile. Its members come from different cultures and faith traditions, connected by the experience of losing someone to suicide.
Remembering a loved one can include sadness and warmth in the same conversation. A painful anniversary may bring back a funny story. A photograph may bring tears and a treasured memory.
There should be room for all of it.
For families, being able to talk about the whole person matters. Their loved one had interests, relationships, habits, dreams, and a life filled with moments that deserve to be remembered.
We can help make that possible by listening without rushing to change the subject or searching for a phrase that will make the grief disappear.
Remembrance and Community Care
Smile Through the Storms’ work has also included activities beyond group meetings.
Corning Community College’s profile documents virtual gatherings that connected participants beyond the local area during the pandemic. It also describes ornaments honoring people lost to suicide, displayed on a tree at Eldridge Park and later sent to their families, along with toy drives benefiting hospitals and other community settings in Elmira.
These activities give people ways to remember loved ones and participate in community care.
The organization also took part in a September 2026 resource table event at SUNY Corning Community College connected with World Suicide Prevention Day activities. The event offered mental health information and helped connect students and employees with support resources.
That visibility gives people a chance to learn about support before they need it—or discover a resource when they have been unsure where to begin.
Ending Stigma Through Compassion
At StrongSteps, we believe conversations about mental health and suicide loss deserve care and respect.
Ending stigma starts with everyday choices: the words we use, the assumptions we question, and how we respond when someone shares something painful.
A grieving family should not have to defend their loved one’s worth. A person experiencing mental health challenges should not have to prove that they deserve support.
We can create more welcoming conversations by:
Using respectful language, including “died by suicide.”
Avoiding blame or speculation about someone’s death.
Asking whether a person would like to talk about their loved one.
Respecting their choice when they do not want to share.
Checking in beyond the first days and weeks after a loss.
Sharing support resources without pressuring someone to use them.
Sometimes, a caring response is simple:
“I’m thinking of you. Would you like to tell me about them?”
The next step is to listen.
StrongSteps and Smile Through the Storms
Our relationship with Deb is part of StrongSteps’ history and our ongoing community work.
We appreciate her past board service and the opportunity to continue working closely with Smile Through the Storms. We value relationships that help people learn about mental health, find community resources, and feel more comfortable asking for support.
By sharing this article, we hope more families will discover Smile Through the Storms and know whom they can contact.
Connect With Smile Through the Storms
If you have lost someone to suicide, or would like to learn about the group’s current meetings and ways to get involved, contact Deb directly:
Website: www.smilethroughthestorms.com
Facebook: Smile Through the Storms
Contact: Deb Maxwell
Phone: 607-241-6624
Email: debmax61@yahoo.com
The phone number and email are listed on the organization’s website.
Contact Deb for current meeting times, locations, and participation options.
Additional Support
For immediate emotional support or a suicidal crisis, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free, confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
For mental health information and help finding resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 800-950-6264, text “NAMI” to 62640, or email helpline@nami.org. It is available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.–10 p.m. Eastern, and is an information and support service rather than a crisis line.
If someone is in immediate physical danger or experiencing a medical emergency, call 911.
To anyone remembering someone they love: their name is welcome. Your memories matter. You deserve support that makes room for both.
